De Stijl Productions' Podcast

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It all started a few years ago when colleagues and myself got sick and tired of nightclubs closing at 2am. And next thing you know your out on the street chewing the face off yourself like a bull dog trying to eat his ear with your hands in your pockets, freezing your balls off and trying to find a party to go back too. At the same time, your like a commando on special ops mission trying to get through town, avoiding all the shams from mahon in there track suites, gleaming air max, armed with a bag of Dutch gold, more knifes than Gordon Ramsey and more gold that B.A. Baracus. Obliviously gold they got in Castle Jewelers, the building on the corner of castle street and the Coal Quay, that’s had a half price sale and a closing down sale for as long as I've been alive. So if you make it past them and to a taxi rank, you hit the next hurled. GOMIES !!! The ones you were in school with and you haven't seen in years. They have been in the Washington Inn for pre club drinks and clubbing like veteran hard-core clubbers in Havana Browns. They’re standing in the rank, eating their chips and curry spilling half in on the ground and the other half on their face. Your praying they won't see you and trying best not to look demented. Trying not to look demented when you are demented is like a retard eating ice cream, a mess. They see you and corner you and want to know everything you’ve been up too for the last 10 years. By some chance, if you can give them a quick synopses of your life, it won't shut them the fuck up because next they want to know about everybody you were in school with and what there doing now. Best thing to do in that situation is to pretend your phone is on silent and your brother from Australia has just rung, at the same time pray to god your phone doesn't actually ring because that could be awkward and that you have to go outside because of bad reception. So if you actually find a gaff to go back too, probably some shit whole student rental gaff on college rd or eagle valley. The gaff is cover with empty cans and construction signs and traffic cones. Its going to consist of 15 lads, 2 girls, 1 bottle of red wine which is drank in mugs, about one third of a bottle of vodka, no mixer and 4 cans of the gamest beer from lidel which is so foreign that nobody can pronounce the name. One of the people who own the gaff magically has a full beer all night and swears it’s his last but has his own secret stash up in his room. By the end of the night people are picking up half drunken cans and drinking them and getting a mouth full of fag butts. We have all done it at some stage, not the most pleasant experience. After endless weekends of this carry on and moaning about theres nowhere to go we thought up of De Stijl Productions. Secret Parties with no rules and regulations That’s all I’m going to tell you about the parties. “Its like you’re a fish in a fish tank, your home away from your hom”

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